Awkward Moments/Updates

As my life never fails to be awkward or uninteresting (which can be seen as either a good or bad thing), I feel the need to inform you all of my life recently.  So, school started almost a month ago, and I decided to host another slew of transfer events and met some really great people that I still hang out with today. By that same token, I met some err... interesting characters, shall I say? Including one that happened to like me out of nowhere and now has my number and calls it every other day three times, which while I appreciate the enthusiasm, is just a little weird. Moving on, the day before school starts, I start to feel really cold out of nowhere and end up getting a ridiculously high fever that lasts me for three days and after the initial first day, I couldn't talk nor swallow, leaving me looking like a mute Paris Hilton (which, admittedly, we all wish would happen) but with a much higher IQ and without that weird lazy hooker eye thing she has going on. Anyway, it got to the point that I couldn't sleep or consume anything, so I went to see a doctor and apparently, I didn't test positive for any known disease they watch out for, so they told me that most likely I got a throat infection, fever, and flu simultaneously. Lucky me, I know. To make a long story short, I missed the first week and a half of class, and I'm still insanely behind. On the upside though, with the exception of one course, my classes this semester don't actually suck! In other good news, I got a job offer from Sephora, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to take it because of my heavy workload, and I'm also working at this program called America Reads at elementary schools where I get to help tutor children to read. I'm psyched to see if teaching is what I might go into after graduation, as I'm completely undecided right now. 

In other Andrew news, (AKA THE GOOD STUFF), I think I met someone pretty amazing, but I don't want to jinx it, as it is me we're talking about here, and something ridiculous will happen that will screw it all up in true Andrew fashion. Anyway, on my first date out with this person, we had a really great time, but it didn't go off without a hitch (it's me we're talking about here). We met up and decided to  hang out at Union Square Park after some great conversation over coffee, and lo and behold, an awkward situation arises. So, we're at the park sitting at a bench at around 2 in the morning talking when a buff Blatino dude sits across the promenade at another bench on the other side. A few minutes later, an Asian woman comes across to where he is and proceeds to start giving the guy a blowjob. Yes, in the middle of the park, while people are watching. I look towards my date and ask if they want to leave because of the awkward situation, and the vehemently refuse and say that we were there first, which I found rather amusing. So, instead, my date and I look around to find something else to look at instead of the classiness unfolding in front of us to then find a very obese middle aged woman and a young black dude making sexytime behind the bushes. As we are both staring in shock, we see out of the corner of our eye that the Blatino guy across from us no longer has the Asian lady near him, but is now with his shirt lifted upwards in our direction and is playing with his nipples while his free hand is in his shorts as he is clearly fooling around with himself looking at us and licking his lips. Awkward? You bet it was. As my date and I finally came to the conclusion that we should leave, the Blatino guy walks over to us and sits at the park bench directly to my righthand side. After a moment of being extremely awkward, he introduces himself and attempts to start up a conversation with my date (who acted like he wasn't there, which I found hilarious afterward, but not so much when I was left to fend for myself in conversation) and I, and told us that we both looked like models and proceeded to explain to us that the reason he sent the Asian woman away was because he couldn't stop staring at us/thinking of us, which was beyond freaking weird. He then proceeded to ask us what we did for fun, and said that we should come back to his place for some fun, which was then followed up by the Blatino dude (I found out in this process that his name was Jamie) courting us for a threesome, which was just freaking bizarre. After an almost angry no, he took his cue to leave, but not after shaking my hand and wishing us a good night. It seems my cordial nature got the best of me however, as logic didn't seem to work when I saw my date looking at me in horror. When I asked what was wrong, I realized that I shook the same hand that the Jamie was playing with across the bench from us a few minutes before. So in a disgusted moment of panic, my germophobic nature got the best of me and I ran into the nearest Starbucks and washed my hands close to 5 times, much to the amusement of my date. After much debating about what to do next, my date and I proceed to walk around the village for another few hours as we talked, and then come across a video store, where while we were present, a hate crime took place against the Middle-Eastern store owners by a drunken jerk. So, the moral of this story is, don't walk around New York past two, especially if you're on a date. Crazy crap happens. On the upside though, I went on an 11 hour date with someone I really liked and it only felt like two, which was kind of cool. Oh, and our follow up date consisted of this dude that was wasted out of his mind and kept following us as he barfed. Strange, I know, but I can't make this stuff up.

In addition, another blind date that I grudgingly went on resulted in me getting inebriated off of a mere two margaritas, which lasted me until the next afternoon. By that I mean, I showed up to class 50 minutes late and looked like Amy Wino sans the crackhive. Not a pretty picture, I assure you. This same day, I also got my backpack stuck between the subway doors. After getting my head caught on the tube doors in London after a night out, I've come to realize that alcohol, public transportation and I do not mesh well together. Other than that and almost getting attacked by an angry homeless man, I've been trying my best to keep a low profile. So, those are my updates for this post, and I will have more as they come.

Oh, and my roommate is...erm...well, I'll get to that later.

Til' we meet again,

Andrew